Wednesday, December 18, 2013



Mass confusion and passive-aggression surround the way Americans address their game of 'Football,' according to the >1,400 asking "why?" on Yahoo Answers, the Wikipedia of advice.

"It's just illogical" gripes BigBen21. "A better name might be Tackleball. Or Throwball, even"

As the National Football League continues to use the "illogical" term unfettered, Yahoo curmudgeons persist with long-held grievances "logic has nothing to do with most Americans ... They insist on using quarts, pounds and gallons then remain unable to figure out how many ounces are in each" opines pissed of Brit, Bullocks32.

As it often happens when Sports fans enter a room, the frustration and animosity tend to bring the conversation back to past sins "if it hadn't been for that High Treason against King George, they'd still be playing Rugby like normal people," claims bitter Englishman, PoppyCock47

Several disgruntled interneters turn to debate the origins of each game with such fervor, it's often unclear who is in fact in the right. Citing Wikipedia entry after Wikipedia entry, and continually using the terms "logical" and "football" to the point that it's impressive that anyone would continue reading. 

"If you've continued reading, it's probably because you've realized I'm right and you're an American," argues internet-fight enthusiast DryHumor69 as he defends explanation of the Urban Dictionary entry "HandEgg." 

While punting and field goals remain the only source of foot-to-ball contact in the exclusively American sport, the National Football League is in talks to remove the field goal portion of the game. If this is to happen, NFL execs are currently rumored to address the issue of name-contention that is sure to re-ignite online. 

Meanwhile, NFL Spokesman Brady Fannerman puts the "Who?" in Yahoo arguing "I do understand the desire to rename the game, but really? Who even has a Yahoo account anymore? It's so hard to take you all seriously" 

"[We know there's been] a lot of recourse over the name of our beloved sport" Fannerman empathizes, "we do intend to ease the minds of the many distressed individuals pleading almost daily to make the game currently known as 'Football' sit better with global (and domestic) naysayers."  

After his initial reluctance to provide so-much-as a hint, Fannerman explains that "as Rugby was named after the town of it's original emanation, the mostly likely contender to rename Rugby's American adaptation is the town of it's Connecticut birthplace," the bustling village of "Cricket."